


Lily's Daughter

by lyraelights



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst and Feels, Female Harry Potter, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:13:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26204737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lyraelights/pseuds/lyraelights
Summary: Or, how everything is different and yet the same when Harry Potter was born female.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Severus Snape, Hints of Sirius Black/James Potter, Lily Evans Potter/Severus Snape, Sirius Black/Harry Potter
Comments: 12
Kudos: 187





	Lily's Daughter

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: referenced rape/non-con. 
> 
> (I've been on a binge writing a bunch of dark stuff. "Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love," is one of my favorite quotes. it instantly inspired me, to create a canon that even though Snape intimidates the shit out of student masses, Snape ultimately is really really lonely and wants to be loved. 
> 
> I'm a sucker for the dark and twisty. All the unrequited feelings from different sides.)

"Perhaps _all the dragons in our lives are princes who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love."_

* * *

Verdant—the color of fresh grass.

_He is lucky._

This is what he thinks when he sees her walk in the Great Hall. Her hair is not a burning red, but an untamable mop of black curls. It curls down the nape of her neck like a slithering snake, nothing like Lily's straight auburn. Ugly glasses frame Lily's eyes, making the girl slightly more bearable to look at. He sits amongst his colleagues watching the scruffy edges of the Sorting Hat touch Rose Potter's head.

She is sorted in Gryffindor, as if she would be sorted into anything else.

He sneers at her turned back, already imagining her new house fawning over the insipid girl. When she seats herself, she will undoubtedly begin regaling how she brought the downfall of the Dark Lord. The weight of his stare presses into her back, drilling holes into her body.

A part of him still denies Lily's marriage to Potter. He can still imagine their first years of schooling, a time when Lily Evans & Severus Snape were still inseparable. Despite being sorted in separate houses, their friendship persisted. They weren't friends of each others friends, they had different tastes that way. Regardless, they shared mutual hatred of Potter and his band of miscreants. They humiliated him constantly. They teased Lily, pushed her because of her muggle ignorance of magical customs.

Severus and Lily had years of friendship. Friendship that meant _something._

So when Lily began dating Potter, he honestly thought it was a moment of weakness. He thought that Lily was angry at him and letting her spite be known by dating the scumbag they both mutually loathed. 

When they argued terribly, he made a mistake. He thought to himself that _su_ _rely she wouldn't pick Potter over_ _him._

But when the days trickled by.... she was no longer _his_ Lily, but _Potter's._

It digs at him.

He avoided any attempts of reconciliation, too busy stewing in his own bitterness. And just like a fool, when she died, he realized what a fool he had been.

To him, Rose Potter is the living embodiment of his worst mistake. He stares at her because maybe if he stares hard enough, she will disappear, and he wouldn't have to live with a walking reminder of his mistakes.

_Rose Lilian Potter should not exist._

If she dies, it would release him from all promises and shackles.

At one point during the feast, she turns to look at him. She flashes a smile. _Lily's smile._ And it's directed at _him_.

Just for a moment--just for a moment, he lets himself indulge.

He looks away.

~

Zipping across the field, Snape watches Potter's spawn chase after the snitch. It is easy to forget she is Lily's daughter as she dives, loops, and glides across the air. Red and gold gossamer threads the words _Potter,_ marking her as the property of that man. When she catches the snitch, Gryffindor scream in approval.

Minerva catches his eye knowingly. "It's been awhile since I last had the cup"

He huffs at her shameless boasting, but dips his head in acknowledgement. Gryffindor is clearly making a comeback this year.

Said boorish Gryffindors stamp and cheer before running onto the fields.

They hoist her into the girl into the air like a savior. For all intents and purposes, she is their savior, their champion, their heroine.

They chant _Pot-ter Pot-ter Pot-ter_ over and over again.

His lips curl into a sneer. It's like watching a scene from his schooldays being replayed It's a twisted parody of his own life.

The girl beams, waving the snitch above her head. The gold flashes across the stadium, and the Gryffindors roar in approval.

Her head tilts back, basking in glory.

How typical, just like her father.

Let her enjoy herself. Gryffindor may have won 110 points, but at the end of the week they will lose all of it.

_~_

_"_ _You know what I mean! He thinks it means her son, he is going to hunt her down — kill them all —"_

 _"_ _If she means so much to you, surely Lord Voldemort will spare her? Could you not ask for mercy for the mother, in exchange for the daughter?"_

 _"_ _I have — I have asked him —"_

.

.

.

 _"_ _You disgust me."_

He wakes to those memories. His breath short and spastic, and sweat covers his brow. Dementors make the nights unbearable and his memories haunt him. Memories of James Potter humiliating him and Lily cutting out his heart with words. Helpless sobs of his mother and his father drunken ramblings. How the Prince family refuses to accept the Prince blood in his veins, only acknowledging the muggle filth. How he swore devotion to a Dark Lord for promises of a better world and sold his soul in the process. He dug through the broken shambles of Potter's house only to find everything he wanted gone.

Beautiful Lily is dead. But her daughter was alive, and by God he was going to save what pieces of her left behind.

~

"Professor, please."

Snape snarls at the girl. Thirteen years he waited for this moment. Tucked away at Azkaban, the disgusting piece of filth escaped his rage. While the urge to destroy the monster Lupin was somewhat quelled, he would relish having Sirius Black at the end of his wand. Azkaban was too kind of a fate for him. When he escaped…Snape knew he would find him. Torture him. Kill him. Black will not slip through his fingers again.

But he does, and Snape fumes for days.

Potter that _damned naive_ Potter allowed the murderer to escape. How could she not see? Her parents were dead because of Black. Black's devotion to the Potters' was nothing compared to the Dark Lord's persuasion.

Confronting the headmaster when Black escapes only solidifies his rage. He will not, _cannot_ accept that Sirius Black is an innocent victim. Perhaps he is not guilty of betraying the Potters', but Black was hardly innocent. Not in his youth and not ever.

Scowling into his porridge, he spots Potter eying her new Firebolt with adoration. She carelessly toss her curls, laughing at the single feather that accompanies it.

His heart breaks just a little.

~

He stares when she walks into the ballroom.

The girl is a complete idiot.

Using her Veela heritage in public?! Not only was it a needless demonstration of power, but also a blatant disregard for international statutory laws.

_J_ _ust like Potter_ he thinks. _The French girl think she's special and the r_ _ules don't apply to them_.

He wants to throttle Bagman and Dumbledore for allowing part creatures into the castle. None of the students understood the dangers of creature blood. Their ignorance combined with adolescent hormones was a failed potion waiting to happen. _Why broadcast such sensitive information?_ Bloody broadcast the information because it was _critical to student safety_.

It was also illegal, extremely illegal, for students with subpar control over their animalistic sides to be mixed with regular students because regular students easily fell sway to dangerous manipulations. 

Dumbledore always had a fondness for breaking the rules, especially for his favorites.

He scowls when the French girl's allure reached around the room. His occulmency shields strains at her attempt to sway the room to her charms. At least his Slytherins were disciplined enough to not submit and start drooling after her. Lustful? Yes. Drooling? No.

Other couples entered the Ballroom.

Chang and Diggory were predictable. The two seekers have recently made themselves a spectacle during their "training" sessions together. His eyebrows rose when Krum and Granger entered. He would have thought Granger's blood heritage detered the Bulgarian's interest. Perhaps Durmstrang has focused less on blood purity? Then again, with the stain of Grindelwald and Karkaroff's own relations with Dark Lords, Durmstrang needed to appear more muggleborn friendly. At least in public. Still, watching Krum's face, he wonders if the boy actually _likes_ Granger.

His eyes wander to the last couple.

Although the entourage of people discreetly back from Longbottom's increasingly constipated face, his eyes are only on Lily's daughter.

She is resplendent in bottleneck green dress robes, a far cry from the expected scarlet and gold. The color matches her eyes, Lily's eyes, and he is reminded of her. The dress is snug, and he can trace her developing curves and slender limbs that school robes have hidden.

His mouth is dry.

This was no longer a girl, but a women. He doesn't know quite what to feel about that. 

~

"So," he drawls, "All the glory has gone to your head Miss Potter. What part of no outside assistance escaped your mind?"

The girl's face flushes an unattractive red, "The other champions receive clues from their headmasters, and Cedric Diggory has the student body at his disposal. I don't need any help, I already have something in mind, I simply need some guidance for implementation."

He is silent, and shuffles the third year's abysmal exams from his desk. He really doesn't want to read any more garbage, and wants to just scrawl Trolls all over the rest. Unfortunately, this would most certainly result in Dumbeldore calling him to his office admonishing him before demanding he re-grade the exams.

Lesser of two evils then.

He looks at Potter's determined face. Tapping his desk, he nods his head toward her, "take a seat, Miss. Potter, and tell me what potion you are trying to blunder through today." 

Her body practically sags in relief as she sits down.

"Mermaids," she begins, licking her lips nervously, "the second task is somewhere in the Black Lake. I already have a potion to help me move and breathe underwater. Human transfiguration is too difficult; I don't want to risk anything. Gillyweed…seems painful."

She hands over a potion's book.

He skims the procedure, raising an eyebrow at the ingredients and technique. The potion was higher than most NEWT level potions and more suitable for a potion's apprentice's project. "

He makes his thoughts clear, "Miss Potter, this potion is well beyond your capabilities."

"That is why I came to you," she retorts.

He sneers, "I'm not going to make this potion for you,"

"Well, I'm going to try and make this potion, with or without your help," she states hotly. 

The chit is blackmailing him. If he doesn't help her, she most certainly will blow herself up trying to make this potion. And then it would be his fault for not supporting the Hogwart's champion.

"Forty points from Gryffindor and detention for the next month" he declares. Before she could start to protest, he raises his hand to silence her. "I will be working on a delicate potion in my lab. I expect you to assist me every night at seven." He eyes her beadily, "I will not tolerate any nonsense."

She straightens her back in understanding.

"Yes, Sir."

~

Her fifth year, Dumbledore assigns him the unpleasant task of spending more time with her.

It's a cruel task for the both of them.

During each session, she seethes in the chair, chin defiantly jutting out. Each time, he raises his wand, shouting, "Again!"

It is, like every other attempt, far too easy.

He falls into the well of Rose Potter's memories. The scenes of her childhood return with bitterness: the cupboard, Petunia's angry face, choking on the Snitch during her first match.

The scenes flash faster—Diggory's corpse—the Dementors swarming her fat cousin—Lily's pleading screams echoing—Sirius Black welcoming her to Grimmauld Palace happy to see his goddaughter

—whispering _obscenitie_ s. Whispering _James._

_His hands knotting in her hair while he pushes her to the wall. Lips are mere centimeters from her own, and his hands finds her hips. They clutch her hips, bruise her hips painfully._

_Mouth finds her neck, breathing in her scent._

_He leaves kisses across her neck...murmuring how beautiful she is, how much she looks like her father, and how he misses him so much. There is a stench of Firewhisky from his mouth, a mouth also approaching hers. Her heart beats in excitement, dread, and terror._

_She is speechless and scared, unable to push him away because she is afraid of what happens if she says no-_

"Protego!" she screams, and Snape flies backward, colliding into the wall. He pushes himself forward with determination.

"What was that?" he whispers, unable to believe, almost desperate to not believe.

"Nothing—"

"DO NOT LIE TO ME!" Snape screams, and the girl begins crying. He clenches his fingers, nails drawing blood from his palms.

"Why didn't you— _why didn't you."_ He stops himself. "How long," he finally settles on, "How far?"

She does nothing but cry, looking furiously away from him.

He throws a salve across the room.

"ANSWER ME!"

Hiccupping, she remains silent, refusing to say anything. His breath catches in his throat, because her expression— _her expression_ is enough.

"I will kill him," he says quietly.

She lunges towards him, wand pressed to his throat, eyes red and determined.

"NO!" she screams. Her wand points steady, "He didn't mean it! He's just lonely after being in prison for so long," she states. Her voice is pleading, almost as if she is _pleading with herself_ , trying to justify what has happened.

Potter is soft on monsters. She is soft in Care of Magical Creatures, soft on Hagrid, and soft on Lupin. Lupin was an animal, but Black is disgusting through and through. His heart should ache for this stupid naïve girl who has never experienced unconditional love. It's not meant to be a game of give and take. He should feel enraged and angry at her sympathy for monsters, but he just feels hollow. 

He was supposed to keep her safe, to do it right this time. 

"He is your godfather," he says.

She turns away, as if to not wanting to face the truth. "My entire family hates me, is it so awful I want him to love me? He loves me. I cant—I can't lose that. Please, professor."

~

Sirius Black dies anyway.

It was easy to arrange something.

Subtle hints dropped around Grimmauld Palace near the house elf Kreacher, scathing remarks of the living Black heir to the insane Bellatrix, and taunting words to rile Black into rushing into the Department of Mysteries all by himself without the rest of the Order.

If the girl finds out and hates him, so be it.

He has sworn to protect her, even from herself.

~

Nagini's posion seeps into him. Rose appears, seemingly out of nowhere underneath her invisibility cloak. Palming a vial of his memories, he pushes it into her hand. He hopes she understands.

"It'll be okay" she weeps, "Hermione has an antidote. Just stay awake for a little more."

He feels himself fading away, and grabs onto her shoulder.

"Look at me," he pleads.

.

.

.

.

_Verdant—the color of fresh grass._

**Author's Note:**

> Authors Notes: Please leave comments and kudos!! Also, if there are any tags/warnings I should add, that would be extremely helpful.
> 
> Personally, it is difficult to believe that Sirius Black did not develop serious issues after escaping Azkaban. Since reading some compelling works on Sirius Black loving James Potter and Sirius Black seeking validation through sex, I added this disturbing little tidbit...I also think Potter is so affection-starved that he/she would rationalize bad behavior. 
> 
> And yes, Snape dies at the end. The first thing he notices when he sees female Potter is her/Lily's green verdant eye. It's also the last thing he wants to see. :) 
> 
> Should I add another chapter where Snape lives? I dunno. lemme know.


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